Take the Baby Away from the Crazy Lady!!

Well, last weekend was my sister, Yvonne's baby shower for her new adopted baby, Siena — my niece. I had a wonderful time visiting with everybody and joining in the festivities, but the real reason I came all the way to CA for the second time in two weeks — TO HOLD THE BABY!!

I arrived on Friday night and immediately asked where the baby was when I got to Yvonne's house. I got to hold her and feed her and gaze lovingly at her. At one point, she even folder her hands together and I said to Steve, "Look at what my daughter is doing!" That's when Steve asked me to slowly give the baby back — I told him, I could just fly back with her to AZ and her airfare would be free!!

The next morning, I woke up and relaxed on the couch for a little bit while Yvonne was still asleep. Siena began crying and I figured Yvonne would hear her and wake up. No such luck. I tiptoed into her bedroom and whispered her name — she startled and then TOOK HER EARPLUGS OUT! She said she generally wakes up around that time, so she really didn't need to hear the baby. Good enough excuse for me to feed her instead!

A few hours later is was off to our "Death Hike" while I pushed the baby in the stroller and Yvonne walked Kuma. After I crawled back to the house, I fed her again and then it was off to get our nails done. Yvonne left Siena with me while she went next door to get her eyebrows waxed. Once we were back home, Steve was there to feed and bathe here while we got ready — so far, so good, I had spent a lot of "quality time" (as Rachael would say) with my new niece — no reason to think that would change......

Actually, the shower wasn't too bad. My friend, Shannon, got to hold her for quite a bit while I sat patiently by. Their "Welcome Home" party was a different story, though. Once her friends got around Siena, that was it, my baby time was over!! HELLO, I'm the Aunt and I LIVE IN ARIZONA!! You people can see her all the time — back off!! About that time was when Steve again, said, "OK, take the baby away from the crazy lady!!" I must admit, I did become the Psycho Auntie from Arizona!

I think it might be quite a while before I am allowed around all their friends again, maybe Siena and I should spend our "Quality Time" alone, we really can't play well with others!

And Baby Makes Five!!

What, did you think it was me?? PPPLLLLEEEAAASSSEEE!! No, my sister and brother-in-law, Yvonne and Steve adopted a beautiful baby girl (Siena) on 3/21/07 to join their clan (along with their two lovable dogs). Boy, do they have quite an adoption story to tell!

It all started with a telephone call to Yvonne and Steve earlier in the month. They had been in contact with an attorney last December to start the adoption process and were told that it should take 18-24 months for a match, so this telephone call as a total surprise. (The following narrative is from my brother-in-law).

Thursday, March 8th -- We were to be in LA the next week for the "Match Meeting". The “Match” is a process where the birth parent(s) meet the adoptive parents. If anyone is uncomfortable for any reason then the “Match” is not made and new adoptive parents are searched out. So, they headed to LA on 3/8. That’s when things changed and the story begins. Yvonne answered the phone. “You’re kidding”, she said. After hanging up, she said we have new plans. “The birth mother is in labor – we need to go straight to the hospital.”

Indulge me for a second, but I need to say that I think Yvonne and I have an exceptional marriage. The only thing that we do poorly together is driving – VERY poorly! So, to keep our marriage strong, we try to limit the driving experiences that we have in foreign locations. Of course, I did address this several years ago by buying a GPS device, but a very close friend of mine has it now (sorry Jeff, I just had to say it). So, we were on our own. The destination was 6 miles from LAX. After 45 minutes, we realized that we had gone full circle and were back at LAX – negative things were said and we started out again. After an hour and 15 minutes, we arrived at the hospital.

Upon entering the hospital, we met our lawyer. “Under the circumstances, this will be a modified Match” he said. He gave us some advice about the process and then said let’s go meet the birth parents.

My first impression: With a personality style of “guardian” I mentally protect against the downside, which means I predict the worst case scenario. So, I did this for both the birth parents. I couldn’t have been more wrong. Upon entering the room, we were introduced to the birth mother and the birth father. Both were articulate, smart, striking and grounded in their decision to give up their baby for adoption. The birth mother is half French and half Indonesian. The birth father is African American. The birth mother is 5’4”, but the men in her family are between 6’2” and 6’4”. The birth father is 6’3”. I suspect that Siena will be taller than Yvonne (easy call) and probably taller than me.

This was my first time being around someone in labor. It certainly looks uncomfortable and boring. The birth mother’s water broke Wednesday at midnight. She and The birth father hailed a taxi and asked for the nearest hospital – it was Sedars-Sinai – very nice – the place where our movie stars go. The birth mother was given Petocin to speed up the delivery – it never worked. So, she went in for the C-section at 9:30pm. After eating dinner, Yvonne and I joined the birth father for more waiting.

At 12:30am, we were invited to go see our new daughter. The doctors estimate that she is 4 weeks short of full term, so she is in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU). Wow, what can I say? We walked up and saw our cute little girl for the first time (yes, I know everyone thinks that their baby is cute, but the reality is you were all fooling yourselves when you thought that… only our baby is cute). We cannot hold Siena because she has tubes all over her body, but we could rub her head, hold her toes and have her hold our finger. Like I said, wow!

On a side note, I’ve discovered what makes the Los Angeles economy work – it’s parking fees. The average price is $2 per 15 minutes to some maximum value. Every time we have to drive to run an errand, we got another $15 to $25 bill. Our car rental is $16.50 a day, but clearly the local economy is making it up in parking.

We thought we were only going to be in LA for one day when we flew down yesterday. Neither Yvonne nor I brought any change of clothes or toiletries. So, we went to Target and loaded up on clothes and necessities. I plan to stay here until Sunday and then fly home. Yvonne is going to stay with Siena until she comes home with us. I plan to fly back next weekend and, if all works out, we will drive home together. The circumstances of this trip have exciting and challenging. Both Yvonne and I are very, very thankful to all of our friends who are helping out back at home while we take care of this!"

As with any adoption, things can happen, and they sure did.....

Friday, March 16th - "I flew home from LA last Sunday. Yvonne and I spoke on the phone Monday and we were still on a euphoric high. On Tuesday after lunch I noticed that my lawyer had called. I immediately called back. He didn’t want to waste time getting to the bad news, “The birth mother has changed her mind. She is flying back to LA in 2 days to take the baby home with her”. I was numb, worse yet, I new that I had to tell Yvonne. I called Yvonne, but went straight into her voicemail, “Yvonne, call me when you get this voicemail”. Yvonne called about an hour later. She had been with Siena during one of the feedings.

One of the things I love about Yvonne is that she is nearly always happy. That was the case when she called me back. She started to tell me about her wonderful day. She was enjoying the sun after visiting with Siena and next she planned to go for a walk on the beach. Like the lawyer, I figured that there was no easy way to tell her the news, “The birth mother changed her mind. She is going take Siena back”. Yvonne went silent. Finally, she said, “I knew this was too easy.” One of the things Yvonne and I do well is work together to find a solution. Our conversation moved from the painful reality to strategizing about what to do. We decided that we needed to talk to the birth mother directly.

Yvonne worked with our lawyer to arrange a conference call with the birth mother. Yvonne and I dialed into the conference line and waited for the birth mother. “What are we going to say”, we asked? We through out a couple of ideas, but all was forgotten when the birth mother entered the call. A quick sidebar – I don’t do a lot of things great, but I can tell you I played my role perfectly – I did not say a word (except my occasional “right” to agree with what was being said). Yvonne was great. She explained that she wanted to do the right thing for Siena. Most importantly, she said that she did not want to take the birth mother’s baby away from her. She would only want Siena if the birth mother believed we were the right parents for her child. By the end of the conversation, the birth mother said that she did not know what she wanted and that she would decide shortly and get back to us. The birth mother never called us back.

I packed Thursday morning to fly down to LA to be with Yvonne and Siena for the weekend. I knew that there was no resolution to whether we would be able to keep Siena, but I was looking forward to seeing her. Deep down inside, I felt confident that this was going to work out. At 1:30pm, I got a phone call from our lawyer. I answered the phone hoping for the best. “The birth mother is flying back on Saturday to take the baby home with her.” I was numb, but somewhat prepared so I responded politely and said that I would call Yvonne. Before calling Yvonne, I thought to myself that this was not right. I’m not saying that I disagreed with the birth mother’s decision. Subconsciously, I just believed so strongly that all would work out and that Siena would come home with us. Unfortunately, I knew consciously that the odds were significantly against us.

After the Tuesday discussions with the birth mother, Yvonne was torn how much time to spend with Siena because she was concerned about getting too attached to Siena. I’m so proud that Yvonne threw those thoughts out the window and spent all of her available time with Siena. But when I called Yvonne with the news on Thursday, she acquiesced and decided to come home.

A quick note about Southwest Airlines: This adoption happened so fast that we could not adequately plan anything. Originally, we bought 2 round trip tickets to LA when we were scheduled to do the “match” with the birth mother and the birth father. With the change of events, we could not use the return tickets. We called Southwest 1.5 hours before the flight was to leave and canceled our return tickets – and received a full refund. On Thursday when the birth mother said she wanted Siena back, I canceled my ticket to LA and bought a ticket for Yvonne to come home. We got a full refund for my ticket and the price for Yvonne to fly home was only $125. Without giving away the rest of the story, let’s just say that when I had to change the tickets again Southwest Airlines was there for us…

This is what happened that required yet one last change to the Southwest tickets. At 4:30pm on Thursday I was in a meeting. I was still stinging from the realization that was sinking in that this adoption was slipping away. My phone rang. I looked down and saw “Adoption – The birth mother”. I quickly left the meeting and answered the phone. She started the conversation with “how are you doing”. Strangely, this is the same greeting that she used for all of our phone calls. “I’m not so good”, I said. She started crying and said that she was very sorry for hurting me and Yvonne. She said that she had been avoiding us because she had not made up her mind about Siena and she did not want to communicate with us until she finalized her decision.

Metaphorically, I was drowning. I can’t describe what I was thinking – I thought is there anything I could say to change her mind, but I said nothing. And then she started crying and said that she has decided that she wants Yvonne and me to adopt Siena. I lost it! Because I’m a guy, I can’t tell you the details, but let’s just say my buddies at the golf course would harass me to no end if they knew.

The birth mother next called Yvonne, then our lawyer and lastly, the hospital to let them know her intentions to uphold the adoption. So, we canceled the Southwest ticket for Yvonne and bought one for me. I flew down to LA and met up with Yvonne a few hours later.

This is where things stand now. Siena is in the NICU until she can consistently eat 40cc’s of formula from a bottle. She exceeded that goal for the last couple of feedings this weekend. Yvonne and I have a bet for when we can bring Siena home (I’m betting on Wed). When she is released, I will fly down and the 3 of us will drive home. It will be nice to have Yvonne and Siena here at home.

One of the reasons I wrote this e-mail is to let you all know that this adoption is not final. The legal process takes time to finalize (between 6 to 8 weeks). We could go through another episode like the one that happened this week. Worse yet, the birth mother could change her mind. Please pray for everyone in this story. I’m very optimistic that everything will work out for the best, but we will take any help that we can get."

But, fortunately, there is a happy ending to this story…..On Thursday, March 22nd (exactly two weeks after they arrived in LA), the birth mother signed a waiver to waive the 30-day waiting period!! Sooooo, Baby Siena is ours!! She was released from the hospital on Monday, March 26! Mom, Dad and Baby are doing great! She has already had many visitors and we get to spend Easter weekend with the new family!

Daughtry's Biggest Fan!

No, it's not me, it's my cousin (in-law), Tara. I'm sure her blog will be MUCH more interesting, but here it is from my perspective.

When you last left me, I had just gotten home from Disneyland at 2a and put in a full day at work. Now, mind you, Tara had already seen Daughtry in San Francisco and FLEW TO PHOENIX (convinced my sister, Yvonne, to come with her) to see him again. Yvonne wasn't feeling well, so we planned to take Rach instead. But, I was pretty sure I was going to bail on her because I was just exhausted. Sooooo, I call her and she....

SCREAMS that "we" had won the "Meet and Greet" for the Daughtry concert! OK, maybe, I'll go. She used me "Mom of 2, doesn't get out much, all she does is play on the computer" sob story to win the tickets. BUT, she got the email too late and the Meet and Greet was during the sound check. I walk in the door, barely have time to change my clothes, and we're off to Tempe (about 40 miles away) to see what they can do for us.

We get there around 7p and Tara works her magic. She got the email late, here it is, what do we get? The concert is at a bar in a strip mall. People had been in line since 7a waiting to get in so they can rush to the stage and be right there. We get to GO IN FIRST before anyone else, that had been waiting in line.....and we get to talk to Chris after the show.

So a little after 8p, we are led in and get to the front of the stage. You can see nose hairs, most likely get "sprayed" by sweat and reach out and touch someone. Oh yeah, we didn't eat dinner and about this time, Rach is hungry. We have two bands before Chris even comes on stage. Sorry, Rach, we're stuck.

An hour later, Rach is really not doing well (I thought she was going down) and I decide that I'll take her to the car after the show and just wait for Tara. Well, Chris was awesome (I got to shake his hand) and it's time to go meet him. Rach asks if we're the only ones who get to go and then she perks right up!

The bouncers tell everyone to go home, he's not coming out, etc. Tara says, "what about us?" Everyone EXCEPT us are to go home.....out comes Chris -- all 5'8" of him, with his quiet, reserved nature. Give hugs, takes pictures, ask how Rachael is (which of course, she answers "FIIINNNEEEE"), and signs Tara's shirt that she bought. BTW, I STILL don't have the pictures to send out, TARA! ETA - here are the photos!

We leave at 11p, get some fast food, and hit the hay around midnight. Not bad for a Mom of 2 who never gets out, huh??

Party of 10

That was the phrase repeated over and over on our trip to Disneyland. Rachael brought a friend and we met up with the Negretes (and Tim's brother, Mike) for a weekend of fun. I guess a Party of 10 is really 5 parties of 2, so we all rode the rides in different pairs. I brought my SeaBands and ventured onto Space Mountain -- I should have done that much sooner!

We had a our usual dinner at Joe's Crab Shack (boy, Rach gave Aub a run for his money with the crab eating!) and then it was off to take John to the airport so he could go to St. Paul (again, what a shocker!) So we spent Sunday in our off kilter Party of 9, but since you all know I don't do the rides, we were back down to an even Party of 8. We finally hit the road at 6:45p to drive back to Phoenix. After the time change, dinner, and a rest stop, we finally fell into bed at 2a on Monday morning. Only to go to the Chris Daughtry (of American Idol fame) concert the next day. Stay tuned for that adventure!

Sorry Wrong Number

Take one bored child (adjusted day today), add one cell phone, and what do you get?? Crank calling......she even knew to dial *67 to block her number. She called me and I thought it was pretty cute. Disguising her voice, asking what we wanted to order, classic stuff. UNTIL she cranked called "the wrong person"....du du du.....

It would have been ok, except she forgot to block her number. She called and said the same thing she said to me in her "disguised" voice. The male adult asked "excuse me?" and she giggled and hung up.....classic call in my book. Well, he was NOT AMUSED. He called right back, got Rach's voice mail and left a message to the effect, "I suggest that the mother or father of this child that is calling me, call me immediately so I can discuss what this child is doing". OK, whatever. Called again and left a message that he would be calling back after 5p to discuss what has occurred and left his name and phone number. AND.THEN.....

Called a total of 12 times after 5p and hung up each time he got Rach's voice mail.....DUDE, GET.A.LIFE!! So, I give Rach a lecture, she deserves everything she's getting, change her voicemail to the system greeting and turn off her phone, eventually, this guy will get tired, right??

So when I get home, she plays the messages for me....the last one says he will call back again tomorrow, if "the parents" don't call back. Rach had also been getting calls for the person that owned the number before her, so I called T-Mobile to see what we can do make sure that his name is not associated with her number anymore. The rep asks if these calls are harassing. Well, not these calls, but since you ask......I decide to turn the tables, 'cause you see, I need to GET.A.LIFE too!!

So I tell the rep that someone keeps calling her and hanging up and she's getting a little freaked. The rep offers to change her number.....PERFECT! So, Rach has a new number and Mr. Harasser will have to find something else to do tomorrow!

The Perfect Job - Day 1 - A Promotion and a Raise??

Well, after six months, I think I've found the perfect job. Only time will tell, but Day One started off with a promotion and a raise! Since I was offered the job, they reclassified several positions and even though I was hired as and "Administrative Secretary", I got a promotion to a "Management Assistant". Of course, I couldn't help but joke "did I get a raise, too??" Sure did, $.50/hr. Not, bad for a first day, huh??

I had to report at 7a, left the house are 6:20a and got there 20 minutes later, not bad at all. Left at 4:10p and was home at 4:30p. My regular shift will be 8a to 5p, so we'll see how that goes. Had an actual orientation, was introduced to co-workers (what a novel idea!), and actually had someone spend time with me and show me the ropes. Whoda' thunk that they do that kind of thing here in AZ?? Treat a new employee like a new employee, be still my heart!

For those of you still wondering about Rach's travel extravaganza, she made it back home just in time for the kick off of the Superbowl and she's no worse for the wear. She might be ready to go to Hawaii with the Grandparents and her brother this summer, time will tell. Sharon made it back home to the BHood all in one piece and John is at his home away from home (St. Paul). All is right with the world once again. Until next time.....

Unaccompanied Minors 2

For those of you that aren't familiar with the movie, it takes place in a Chicago airport that has cancelled all flights because of weather during the Christmas Holiday and a band of kids is left to run wild in the airport.

Well, that not EXACTLY what happened as Rachael and her BFF, Sydni, prepared to fly to Sacramento last night to go to Lake Tahoe with Yvonne for a weekend of birthday snowboarding.....

I should mention that up until about a month ago, Rachael REFUSED to fly anywhere without an adult -- turned down a trip to Hawaii with the grandparents because she and Aubrey would have to fly to LA by themselves. After this, she's ready to fly ANYWHERE!!

You know me, I had everything all organized, copies of birth certificates, medical cards, authorization forms, itinerary, EVERYTHING. See, I had checked out the website as soon as Yvonne had made the flight arrangements. She forwarded me the Unaccompanied Minors Policy. On the Southwest website there is a link to click for the form to fill out. It is a .pdf form and has the word "SAMPLE" watermarked across it. I call the Customer Service center and ask if there is a form that I need to fill out once I get to the airport or if I can use the one on the web. She says to go ahead and fill out the one on the web. I asked her even though it says "SAMPLE" and she said, "sure, no problem".

So, yesterday, we are all ready to go........

2:00PM -- I leave my office (having worked through lunch all week so I can make up the time).

2:30PM -- Reach home, gather all the girls' luggage, pick up a bit and head out the door to pick them up from school.

3:00PM -- Pick them up from school and head to the airport -- Flight departs at 5:15PM

3:37PM -- Arrive at parking garage and head into Terminal 4 for Southwest Airlines

3:50PM -- Check in bags at the wrong counter and are walked over to the counter for Unaccompanied Minors. The agent tells me I need to fill out the "UM" form. I hand him what I had from the web and he compares to two and says it has the same information so that works. He then takes the form I filled out and uses a red Sharpie and write their flight #, how many carry ons, how many bags, etc. they have. He then asked for their Boarding Passes (that I had printed out in the morning). I said I gave him everything. So, he finds them, folds them up and tells the girls to put their UM forms and Boarding Passes on their lanyard holder. Tells me to go to Gate B7 which is, "unfortunately all the way on the other side of the airport". His exact words. OK, no problem we still have plenty of time.

4:11PM -- Pay for dinner for the girls and sit down to eat.

4:30PM -- Start walking to Gate B7.

4:40PM -- Get to Gate B7 and realize it is US Airways. Asked someone where Southwest is and he tells us to go to the "other side of the terminal" (where we checked in -- go figure!!) and check the kiosk. Starting to panic now, the flight leaves in 30 minutes!! Run to the kiosk and see that it is Gate "D"7!! OK, I'll even cop to the fact that that he may have said "D" BUT he also said that it was on the other side of the airport.

Run through the airport and got through Security AGAIN. By this time they are announcing last call for passengers McCown and Smack. I ask the TSA rep if he can call Southwest and let them know that we are in the line for Security and he asks me if I have their phone number!! WHAT.EV.ER!! Back in line again!

RUN to Gate D7 - the girls get to the check-in counter before me and I hear the rep asking where Mom is.

5:00PM -- Get to the check-in counter and the whole flight has boarded -- they are holding the plane for the girls -- 15 minutes before takeoff. The check-in counter looks at everything and tells us to go to the gate. The Gate person tells me "Don't leave, Mom, we have to make sure everything is in order." HE looks at everything (for those of you keeping count):

1. Customer Service Agent -- Yes, you can use the form off the web
2. First Ticket Agent -- Checked their reservation -- walks me over to the UM area
3. Second Ticket Agent -- Checks form, Birth Certificates, Boarding Passes - tells us to go to wrong gate.
4. Check-In Rep looks everything over, tells us to go to the Gate.
5. Gate attendant looks at everything and escorts them onto the plane.

5:05PM -- Girls are on the plane, I walk back to my car -- which, incidentally is right where the Gate is because I parked in the SOUTHWEST terminal!

5:10PM -- Rachael calls (I think to tell me she's all settled and she loves me). But NO, I HAVE TO COME BACK BECAUSE THEY DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT FORMS!!!!!!!!!!

5:15 PM -- RUN back through Security to the Gate and am told by yet another person that I haven't filled out the proper form. The first thing I ask if if they are holding the plane -- nope, already gone -- probably at least 2-3 minutes BEFORE scheduled take-off -- they couldn't wait???!!??

Omar explains the whole process to me CORRECTLY, I might add. Here's the reason for the form, 3-parts, blah, blah, blah. Also, DON'T LEAVE UNTIL THE PLANE IS IN THE AIR. OK, first time I heard that one! It was the Flight Attendant that told the girls they didn't have the correct forms. Omar also explained that their Boarding Passes should have been reprinted with UM on them ALONG WITH THE CORRECT GATE #.

Again for those of you keeping track -- Second ticket agent completed FUBARed the entire process:

1. Wrong Form
2. Didn't reprint Boarding Pass
3. Didn't check them in as UMs.
4. Told us the wrong gate

6:00PM -- Got to Gate D6 to get on another flight via San Diego (but was told Ontario -- don't get me started on that one as to why Yvonne was at the Gate for an Ontario arrival). And from that point on, EVERYTHING WAS DONE RIGHT! The check-in attendant told me not to leave until the plane was off the ground. The Gate attendant came over to us and met the girls and looked at their proper form and then led them to the Pre-Board area. The flight attendants introduced themselves and led them onto the plane. I was AGAIN told by the Gate attendant to not leave until the plane has left the ground and to check with the check-in rep, just to make sure.

6:15PM -- Final call for flight which was scheduled to leave at 6:15.

6:30PM -- Plane taxis down runway and takes off -- to arrive in Sacramento TWO HOURS LATER THEN THEIR ORIGINAL FLIGHT! Yvonne is PI$$ED!!

6:31PM -- Check with attendant -- flight is "officially off the ground" and I have permission to leave the terminal.

7:20PM -- Rachael calls from San Diego (OK, they said Ontario, but whatever -- forgot to call Yvonne with new info -- WHOOPS!) -- BTW, I'm not even home yet!

7:25PM -- Call Aubrey and tell him to put a bottle of wine in the fridge for me!

7:45PM -- Get home, call John, wait for Rach to land and call me.

9:45PM -- Rach calls, now for the two hour drive to Tahoe -- Everyone is where they should be.

9:46PM -- Fall into bed, exhausted from the stress (and probably jogging through the airport!)

Hopefully, their flight back will be completely uneventful. Spoke to the Customer Service Manager at Southwest and we WILL be compensated -- $200 Travel Voucher -- no questions asked!

Until the next "trauma"........

Too Many Words

I decided to start this Blog because I am forever repeating the "drama" that is my life to people in my life. I then resorted to emails, but I thought that I was using "too many words"......so here it is, take what you like and delete the rest!

So, as you all know we moved to AZ in July (not the smartest thing to do, but when work calls, John follows!) We are settling in and besides for the:

1. Car accident in August when we visited CA

2. Going on my THIRD job since we've been here -- sure to be blogged in the next week or so, my first day is Monday, 2/5.

3. Rachael flying "solo" to CA to visit Yvonne (this will be the first post -- no more emails!)

Life is relatively calm -- LOL!!!!

The kids have a few really good friends -- we have met a really nice couple that go to our church as well and we are having our annual Superbowl party this Sunday. You all would be proud of me -- there are about the same number of invitees from AZ as are from CA! YEAH, I'm getting there!

We have our annual Disneyland trip for Rachie's Birthday coming up, a visit to CA in April for winetasting and then a visit to CA in July for Shannon's wedding. Check back for exciting details of those events as well!

OK off to blog about the Southwest Airlines trauma of yesterday!